Rooftop Gupshup- Electricity, No Filter

It’s 11:47 p.m. Hostel generator has betrayed them again. Four Management Trainees — sweating, sipping warm Thums Up, fanning themselves with assessment forms — decide to decode their internships. And suddenly, in the dim moonlight, they become anthropologists of the corporate jungle.

Intern 1 — Ritu (MBA HR)

Company she interned at: Hindustan Universal Foods Ltd.

“Guys, my company is basically Gurukul meets Government Office meets Jugaad AI.”

🔹 Talent Strategy → The Talent Cultivator

“They literally believe ‘If you survive here, you become world-class.’

Every senior manager talks like:

‘When I joined in 1997…’

Everyone is a home-grown expert, and they treat interns like they’re planting bonsai trees.”

🔹 Employment Model → Traditionalist

“Attendance register. Thumb impression machine.

Lunch break at 1:17 PM.

Exactly.

If you come at 1:19, aunty at the desk will glare and write a comment.”

🔹 Tech Posture → Automation Seeker (Confused)

“They bought a fancy AI tool, but nobody knows who approved it or what it does.

It just sits in a server room like a decorative aquarium.”

✨ Verdict:

“Good people. Great learning. But zero Wi-Fi in the conference room.”

________________________________________

Intern 2 — Aarav (MBA Marketing)

Company: Fire Spark Technologies (Hypergrowth SaaS startup)

🔹 Talent Strategy → Skill Shopper

“They want unicorns.

You must know Figma, Python, Neuropsychology, Salsa dancing…

And they want you yesterday.”

🔹 Employment Model → All-Remote Vanguard

“I have never seen my manager’s full face.

Only the top half on Zoom.”

🔹 Tech Posture → AI Integrator

“Bro, they have an AI tool to summarise every meeting, schedule every meeting, remind you of every meeting.

Only problem — no one attends meetings.”

✨ Verdict:

“Cool culture. Great tech. But burnout is a built-in feature.”

________________________________________

Intern 3 — Sanya (MBA Finance)

Company: Titan Capital Group

🔹 Talent Strategy → Brand Peddler

“They don’t hire. People just stand outside the gate with CVs like ‘please take me’.

Brand = magnet.”

🔹 Employment Model → Hybrid Pioneer

“Three days office, two days remote, zero days peace.”

🔹 Tech Posture → Data-Driven Decider

“They don’t make decisions.

Tableau makes decisions.

My manager said, ‘Don’t convince me. Convince the dashboard.’”

✨ Verdict:

“Prestige, pressure, Power BI… in that order.”

________________________________________

Intern 4 — Kabir (MBA Ops)

Company: AeroLogistics Pvt. Ltd.

🔹 Talent Strategy → Gig Economy Orchestrator

“They love interns, contract workers, freelancers, cousins of freelancers…

Everything is flexible except your deadlines.”

🔹 Employment Model → Output-Obsessive

“No benefits. No frills.

Only one mantra: ‘Deliver or disappear.’”

🔹 Tech Posture → Automation Seeker

“They automated half the warehouse.

The other half is run by one heroic uncle who knows every glitch by memory.”

✨ Verdict:

“Chaos + machines + chai = productivity.”

________________________________________

Intern 5 — Meher (MBA Strategy)

Company: Stratus Consulting (Elite global firm)

🔹 Talent Strategy → Talent Cultivator + Brand Peddler hybrid

“They hire top talent, then beat them gently into diamonds.”

🔹 Employment Model → Hybrid Pioneer

“You can work from home…

As long as your home is the office.”

🔹 Tech Posture → AI Integrator + Data-Driven Decider

“AI makes slides, AI makes minutes, AI analyses data…

We just pretend to ‘add strategic insight’.”

✨ Verdict:

“Brutal. Brilliant. Beautiful PowerPoint templates.”

________________________________________

Intern 6 — Dev (MBA International Business)

Company: Sunrise Retail MegaMart

🔹 Talent Strategy → Skill Shopper

“They hire whoever can fix things fast.”

🔹 Employment Model → Traditionalist → trying to be Hybrid

“They declared ‘Hybrid Work’.

But customers don’t shop on Zoom, so guess what?

We all come to the store.”

🔹 Tech Posture → Legacy Guardian

“Billing machine is from 2004.

If it stops working, they call Ramesh bhaiya from IT… who retired in 2016.”

✨ Verdict:

“Good people. Great discounts. Terrible tech.”

________________________________________

The Magic of This Scene; In one rooftop conversation, the interns accidentally did what HR textbooks fail to do:

They mapped 3-dimensional employer identities — strategy, structure, technology — through lived reality, jokes, and memories.

1. Aarav (Interned at a Big FMCG) — The Talent Cultivator

Aarav starts the session with the confidence of someone who’s had free cafeteria lunch for two months.

“Guys… my company is basically a Gurukul. They don’t hire people… they harvest them.”

Everyone laughs.

Aarav continues:

“They have internship-to-PPO pipelines longer than the Mumbai local rush hour line.

My manager literally told me:

‘If you stay long enough, you’ll become exactly like us.’

Bro… that was the most encouraging and most threatening sentence I’ve ever heard.”

He lists the cool parts:

• real training

• mentorship

• structured learning

• even a presentation to senior leadership

But then he adds:

“Downside?

They’re so proud of their processes that sometimes even switching off a fan needs four approvals.”

He sighs dramatically:

“Talent Cultivators. Good people. But too many SOPs.”

________________________________________

2. Simran (Interned at a Tech Startup) — The Skill Shopper

Simran, wearing a hoodie despite the heat, jumps in.

“My company is basically Amazon… but for skills.

They add you to cart only if your resume has the exact right keywords.”

She explains the “Skill Shopper” life:

• Role descriptions so hyper-specific they sound like fantasy characters

• “Must know Kubernetes + blockchain + AI + make good chai”

• They expect Day 1 impact

• No time for training; just “figure it out” culture

Then she smirks:

“Honestly, I learnt more in eight weeks than in two years of MBA.

But did I also cry in the restroom?

Maybe.

Don’t ask.”

Everyone nods — the ‘startup trauma’ is universal.

________________________________________

3. Riddhi (Interned at a Very Famous Brand) — The Brand Peddler

Riddhi flips her hair dramatically.

“Guys, my company is basically Hogwarts.

Everyone wants to enter, very few get in, and most of us are confused about what magic is happening.”

She details:

• A logo so iconic that even security guards feel like brand ambassadors

• Perks so shiny she forgot to notice the 9 p.m. exits

• A culture so polished it feels like walking inside a YouTube ad

Then she says, half proud and half annoyed:

“Intern selection was harder than my MBA entrance exam.

But once inside, I swear 70% of the job is just understanding the company slang.”

She concludes:

“Brand Peddlers are great for the CV…

but sometimes you wonder if you’re being hired… or marketed.”

________________________________________

4. Kabir (Interned with a Gig-Heavy Company) — The Gig Orchestrator

Kabir sits cross-legged like a baba about to drop wisdom.

“My company?

Picture a circus.

Where every performer is a freelancer.

And the ringmaster changes every month.”

He explains the “Gig Orchestrator” vibe:

• No fixed teams

• Everyone is contract-based

• Projects come and go like Tinder matches

• You learn everything because no one sticks around long enough

Kabir laughs:

“On my first day, someone asked me, ‘How long is your contract?’

I said, ‘I’m an intern.’

They replied, ‘So… one month?’”

But he also says:

“It’s chaotic, but man… you feel alive.

You get to actually DO things, not just observe.”

________________________________________

🌃 As the Night Deepens… the Categories Reveal Themselves

Aarav sums it up:

“So basically… Talent Cultivator, Skill Shopper, Brand Peddler, Gig Orchestrator…

that’s the whole corporate jungle.”

Simran adds:

“Exactly.

Four jungles.

Four climates.

Four styles of survival.”

Riddhi smirks:

“And now we know where we fit.

And where we’ll run away.”

Kabir takes the final sip of Thums Up:

“The funny thing?

Employersthink they’re choosing us…

but low-key, we’re choosing them right back.”

They all nod.

The monsoon breeze finally picks up.

Lights are still off.

But their minds?

Fully illuminated.